Generation Talk #5: MC and YQ

Generation Talk #5: MC (Age 84) and YQ (Age 52)

On April 6th, 2025, I sat down to talk with my grandpa (MC) and my dad (YQ), who both immigrated to the US from China. We discussed immigration, America, and what home means to them. They had some very thoughtful and inspiring things to say. I am so thankful to have these two great people in my life. 

Portrait of MC (on the left) and YQ (on the right)

Tell us about your background and how you came to America.

MC: I was born in China. I’m not sure what city, but I was born in the northern part of the province of Jiangsu.

When I was eight, we moved to Taiwan. I had my education all the way to college in Taiwan for twenty years. Then, I came to the United States in 1967 and went to the University of Missouri-Rolla. After getting my doctorate degree in chemical engineering, I moved to Canada and stayed there for about a year and a half. Then, I went to Boston for about a year and worked for a battery company called Duracell. After that, I moved to Detroit. In 1978, I came to California to start my own adhesive company called Tuff Industries.

YQ: I was born in China. I went to elementary school and one year of middle school in China, and then I came to the US and went to Minnesota, where I attended high school and college. After college graduation, I went to Japan to work for four years. When I came back to the US, I went to UC Berkeley for business school, where I met my wife. We were in Berkeley for seven years, from 1998 to 2005. Then, we moved here to Southern California.

What were some of the challenges you faced while coming to America? How did these challenges affect you?

MC: First of all, the language barrier. Language is one of the hardest things for anyone who comes to the US from another country. But fortunately, when I was in Taiwan, I worked for a British company called ICI—Imperial Chemical Industries. At that time, we had to use English. I worked there for about a year and a half, so I learned a bit of English. When I came to this country, at least I was able to speak a bit.

Also, you have to be able to communicate with Americans. You have to learn how to live in their society. I couldn’t just stay isolated and live in Chinatown. You need to adopt the American way of life.

YQ: I agree. I think the language barrier was the biggest challenge. For me, besides the language, one additional challenge was trying to get the legal status to stay in the US long-term. There was a period of time when I wasn’t sure if I could stay, so I felt really unstable about my future.

MC: I didn’t have to deal with these feelings of instability. I came to the US to go to graduate school through a set path. Immigrants seeking education in the US would apply, and the US wanted you to stay. During that time, around the 1960s to 1970s, America almost automatically let you come here if you were educated and seeking more education. I mean, it was almost like a freebie. The other country educates you, and now you come to the US to work here, contribute, and pay taxes.

YQ: Yes, so in the 1960s and 1970s, I think if you were educated and you had some technical skills to contribute, it was practically guaranteed that you could stay. But twenty to thirty years after that, which is when I came to the US, it was a little more difficult. The US was less eager to accept immigrants. Nevertheless, I was able to stay. Now, thirty years later, it’s even more difficult. You can see the transition from the 1960s to 1970s where the US really welcomed educated immigrants, and then the 1980s and 1990s, where it was a little harder, and now, where it’s probably even more difficult.

But one thing I do want to comment on is that, yes, language is a big challenge. Another challenge is culture. We use culture as a big word. We as immigrants wanted to learn the American way. Back then, when we first came to this country, there was less about diversity and inclusion like there is today, less about accepting people from different backgrounds. The onus was on the immigrants to conform, to learn the American way; not the other way around, for the Americans to accommodate the immigrants. And actually, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.

MC: Yes, I agree. Immigrants were definitely expected to conform to American culture a lot more back then. Another major difference is that during my time many Americans were really eager to get to know and talk to immigrants. Today, I don’t see that as much.

YQ: It’s kind of an interesting dynamic. It’s almost ironic or paradoxical—fifty years ago, society as a whole was less accommodating. Everywhere you went, it was all in English. There weren’t any Chinese, Japanese, or Spanish signs and menus, no non-English translations. In that sense, society was less accommodating to immigrants. That’s what I meant about the burden being on the immigrants to conform and learn the American way. However, at the very personal level, the people that we came into contact with when we immigrated here were much friendlier than today. They wanted to help you, they accepted you. They were very generous.

Now, society on the surface seems to be more accommodating. You have non-English signs everywhere. But in actuality, on a deeper level, people are less accepting of immigrants. It’s really paradoxical!

Why do you think people are less accommodating to immigrants now?

YQ: I think it has to do with economics. Fifty years ago, Americans were much more well-off compared to the rest of the world. There’s an old saying—when you have enough to eat and you’re full, you can be more generous. But when you’re a little hungrier, you start fighting everyone for scraps of food. Now that some people in America are not in as good of an economic situation as before, they are less likely to be kind to immigrants.

MC: Yes, after World War II, America was very powerful and strong. When I came here, the US was the top of the world. And that’s the reason I came here. The best place to go was the US, and the best way to come here legally was to apply for graduate school. So, for young people like me at that time, that was the only way they could come here. We all followed this path and came here in this way.

Immigration is a major topic today. What do you think about immigration? Is it good or bad? What is its role in our country?

MC: Well, we’re all immigrants. From my time, immigrants were good, of course. But now, there’s more conflict between immigrants and so-called natives. In the old days, after World War II, no one argued with what Americans said and thought. But now, everyone gets a voice, so immigrants and natives are more hostile.

YQ: In today’s world, there is a lot of anti-immigrant sentiment. If you take a step back, I personally believe that America was built by immigrants. Everyone was once an immigrant. It’s just that at different times, the definition of an immigrant changes.

MC: Like, a long time ago, people immigrated to America from Europe. And during our generations, most of the immigrants were Asian.

YQ: When you look at the time between the 1700s to the 1800s, America had immigration problems, too. But back then, it was the northern and western Europeans against the Irish and Italians. The Irish and Italians were the “immigrants” then. But during westward expansion, the Gold Rush, and the building of the Continental Railroad, most of the Europeans were considered Americans by then. All the Italians and the Irish were integrated already. Then, the new “immigrants” became the Asians, the Chinese, and the Japanese that came to help build the railroads. And then, the definition of an immigrant shifted again. Now, Asians still get a bit of the anti-immigrant sentiment, but it’s mostly the Latin and Central Americans that get it now.

I’d like to have more faith in this country that, at some point, we’ll figure out how to stop having these waves of anti-immigrant sentiment. Right now, it’s difficult because the economy isn’t very smooth. Everyone feels a bit poorer, so they argue and fight. Of course, everyone is a brother when things are going well. But when you’re not happy, and you think you’re not getting a piece of prosperity, that’s when you start pointing fingers, and that’s when phases of anti-immigrant sentiment happen in history. It’s happening now, and it happened before, too, all throughout history. It’s not like the US was always super welcoming of immigration throughout its 300 year history. During the Gold Rush, there were parks in San Francisco which had signs saying, “Chinese and dogs are not allowed”. Obviously, you don’t see that now. But now, most of the anti-immigration sentiment has been redirected towards Latin American people.

But immigration is extremely important, especially for rich countries. Look at all the European countries. They were all once very powerful, and then they got rich. But it always happens like this—the richer a country is, the lower the birth rate. So if you don’t have a good immigration policy to keep the population growing, then your population will decrease, and your country will go downhill. You need new blood in society. That’s why Euro-sclerosis happened, because there wasn’t enough population growth in these European countries, so their economies were very stagnant.

Then, after these European countries, this happened to Asian countries, too. After the war, before Japan’s economic bubble burst, Japan and the US were neck in neck in terms of GDP. There was a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment in the US, because they were afraid that Japan would overtake the US. But what happened to Japan in the last thirty years? The main problem was that the population stopped growing. Now, Japan’s economy is quite stagnant. Korea is going down the same route. And right now, everyone in America is fearful of China. But let’s see, in twenty years. China is going to have issues, too, because their population is starting to stagnate. And they’re very anti-immigrant. My point is, when any country grows rich, the native population tends to stop having kids. So if you don’t have good immigration policy to keep the population growing at a steady rate, then problems are going to happen. This is why immigration is so critical.

But even today, even though the US immigration policy has issues, it is still pretty good compared to other countries. We need to put things into perspective, so let’s not get too pessimistic. It’s still a really good country to immigrate to, and people work really hard here.

What problems do you think there are with the immigration system?

YQ: Well, one thing is that it has to be fair. But you also want people that can contribute to society to come. MC was talking about how fifty years ago, if you want to get a degree, there’s a path for you here. I think that’s a pretty good start, because that means you’re educated, and you have skills to contribute.

People say that America is a “melting pot” of cultures. How did you change culturally when you came to America? Do you ever feel disconnected from your roots? Is this a good or bad thing?

MC: Not really. I’ve basically accepted that I used to be Chinese, and now I’m American. I have to live the American way. I can’t just isolate myself in Chinatown forever. But even though I am living the American way, I still have Chinese culture. I can have both.

YQ: I agree with MC. I consider myself an American, too. I think there are a lot of “cultural” habits that are very good. In fact, that’s what made this country so successful. I believe in best practices. Different countries have different ways of doing things, but that’s why we need to exchange ideas to see what’s the better way. Some people define certain cultural habits with different countries, for example, they call certain habits the “American way” or the “Chinese way”. But I don’t think that practices should be defined by countries. It should just be about finding the best way. 

My interpretation of the American melting pot is actually the best practices that are brought in by different immigrants from different countries. I actually think it’s a great thing. Let’s think about it, the last 100 years. All the great scientific discoveries—Einstein was not American, and Oppenheimer was educated in Europe! In the space program, half of them were German engineers! So when you say the “melting pot,” I hope that it’s not unique to America. Every country should have a melting pot and bring in good ideas from around the world to find the best practices.

MC: Yes. The right way is the right way, and the wrong way is the wrong way. If you kill someone, it doesn’t matter what country you do it in. It’s just wrong.

YQ: Haha, that’s exactly right. And a lot of times people use that kind of simple definition to hide behind the fact that their way is not good. If their way isn’t good, they just say, “Well, that’s just how we do it.” If they’re Chinese, that just becomes the Chinese way. If they’re Japanese, it’s just the Japanese way.

What do you consider your home—America or your home country? Why?

MC: For the first eight years of my life, it was China. For the next twenty years, it was Taiwan. Now, for the last 50 years, it’s been the US. So now, the US is my home. My home is where I live.

YQ: My home is here because you are here, PQ. You and your siblings and your mom are all here.

MC: That’s true. Your grandma is here, and you’re here too, so this is my home. Anywhere could be your home if the family moves there. You shouldn’t be restricted to one specific area or continent.

YQ: There’s a Chinese saying called “天下为家” (tian xia wei jia) —anywhere under the sky could be your home. So for me, it’s wherever my family is.

Did you (or any of your family members) ever feel reluctant about immigrating to America? Why?

MC: No, I don’t think so. This is a good country, a good place to be. So why would you be hesitant about it? I didn’t know anyone who was reluctant. If you choose to move here, you just do it, and you make the best of it.

YQ: I had friends that had the opportunity to come to the US, and they didn’t want to. I think some of them felt that they had better opportunities in China. Personally, if I were them, I wouldn’t make that choice, but they made their decision. But you see a difference in the different generations. In MC’s generation, America was the envy of the world after WWII. It was everyone’s dream to immigrate here. I think 25-30 years after that, which is when I came, America was still the best country in the world, but its reputation was more tainted than before. My family members all came here, but some of my distant family members thought China was better, so they went back.

MC: I chose wherever I thought I could have the best future. During my time, this was the best place. This was the place where I had the highest chance of being the most successful I could be.

MC, I’m your granddaughter. YQ, I’m your daughter. You both were born in China initially, but then you came here and raised me here in America, so I’m not as Chinese as a person being raised in China. When you look at me as a more Americanized person, do you ever feel disappointed that I lost some of my Chinese roots?

YQ: The short answer is no. I always feel that you should be raised as an American first, but I do hope that you open your mind to the Chinese culture and language. Your mom and I tried our best to give that to you from when you were young. But at the end of the day, you have to be successful in this country. By being more Chinese than American, your probability of success is probably lower than being more American than Chinese. That’s just the way it is, and that’s okay. Going back to the melting pot, my interpretation of it is finding the best practices. Having you grow up educated as an American doesn’t mean you should pick up all the American habits, because some of them are not good. You should go out, see the world, and learn from everybody. You’ll come across Chinese students, Japanese students, European students, whoever. You should learn from all of their cultures and philosophies and bring back the best practices for yourself.

MC: You’re an American, but you don’t have to be half Chinese. You just be yourself!

If you did not immigrate to America, what do you think your life would be like?

MC: There’s no if. How can I have an if? I don’t know! My life could be anything. I have absolutely no idea. I do not believe in thinking about an if. Don’t think about what you should have done in the past. It doesn’t matter. Just decide and follow through with it. You have no time to look backwards. You have to keep looking forward.

And if I did not come here, I would not have you as my granddaughter. So, how can I have an if?

YQ: It’s the same for me. If I didn’t come here, I wouldn’t have met your mom and had you or your siblings. Obviously, I don’t want it any other way. Don’t constantly look back and think about what you should’ve, could’ve, or would’ve done.

I don’t know for sure, but I think in terms of probabilities, I do appreciate the fact that I came to the US. I think it’s a very free society. You can do whatever you want. If you work hard, you’ll be rewarded. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve worked hard and probably accomplished some things in China, but probability-wise, I think I would still be more successful here. There is a wider range of opportunities here. You can be successful in other places, but the paths are narrower. But you have a better shot here.

MC: People want to come to America to live their dream. It’s a great place to build a life that you want for yourself.

(This conversation had been edited for clarity.)