Generation Talk #1: CC and PQ

Generation Talk #1: CC (Age 51) and PQ (Age 15)

On January 3rd, 2025, I, PQ, talked with my 51-year-old mom, CC, about growing up in an immigrant family and the development of technology.

Portrait of PQ (on the left) and CC (on the right)

CC, you grew up with immigrant parents. What was that like?

CC: I spoke Chinese in the house and English at school. I had to bounce between two languages. I even remember failing an English reading test in first grade, so I had to go to English tutoring.

Both of my parents did not know English well. My dad’s English was better because he was working, but he was very busy and often unavailable. My mom’s English was very limited, so I acted as her translator for everything. Whenever I got forms from school, I had to translate and read them to my parents.

When I was little, I used to think that having to sign my own school forms and be a translator for my parents was annoying. But now as I look back, I think that trained me to be more organized and independent.

PQ: Wow, Mom, that’s really different from my current experience growing up. You and Dad both speak English very well. And even though I am Chinese, I never feel like I’m significantly different from other kids my age growing up in American families. I’ve never had to translate Chinese to you or Dad. Now, we mostly speak English both inside and outside of the house.

It sounds like we had opposite challenges. When you were growing up, the challenge was integrating yourself in America and mastering English. Now that our family is more integrated in this American environment, my challenge is not completely losing my Chinese language and culture. I know that you and Dad tried to only speak Chinese to me when I was little. I’m still taking Chinese classes. Dad and I occasionally watch Chinese dramas together. Our family still celebrates Chinese holidays like the Mid-Autumn Festival and Chinese New Year.

Did you have any other specific challenges growing up in a first-generation immigrant family?

CC: Well, both of my parents were really busy working most of the time, so I did not have many extracurricular activities. I had piano lessons only for a little while and a Chinese school that I attended on Saturday mornings with all the other Chinese immigrant kids, and that was it. My childhood was relatively simple.

PQ: I am very fortunate to have a lot more extracurricular activities—piano lessons, art lessons, clarinet lessons, soccer practices, swim practices, and Chinese classes.

A lot of people in my generation have a lot of extracurricular activities too. However, sometimes I feel like we do those activities just for the sake of filling up our resumes in order to look better in college applications. Sometimes, we sacrifice quality for quantity, and I don’t think that’s the best approach.

CC: Yes, times have changed. But you’re really lucky to have had all these activities. You should take advantage of these opportunities. Whatever you do, just focus on it and learn to do it well. That’s the best way to thank your parents!

PQ, your generation has experienced a lot of new technology. What are the effects of that?

PQ: With new technology, everything is definitely a lot more convenient. Technology makes the world smaller and allows people who are far away from each other to communicate instantaneously. For example, when my swim practices end, I can text my mom and ask her to pick me up. This is really helpful because I end practice at different times every day. Technology can make planning and coordination very easy and efficient.

However, sometimes this is a downside. Because it is so easy to plan things, it is also easier to cancel at the last minute—easy come, easy go. Technology allows us to not be that good at long-term planning. Oftentimes, when I plan events with my friends, many of them (including me!) show up late or don’t show up at all.

Also, with all these different methods of online communication, like text messaging, Discord, Snapchat, etc., face-to-face conversations are a lot rarer. Sometimes I text someone more than I talk to them in person, which is not good because online communication doesn’t allow for a very deep personal connection.

CC: Yes, I agree with that. I didn’t have all that technology growing up, so my life was very different. The greatest technological advancements during my childhood were the microwave and the fax machine.

You talked about planning events with friends. Whenever we wanted to hang out with friends, it was always by phone. One mall trip required lots of long-term planning. We couldn’t change at the last minute with a text.

And for my generation, I think that we have more of an inclination to pick up the phone and call someone in order to communicate with them, whereas in your generation, your first instinct is to text. I think that can be a bit inefficient at times, and I don’t think emojis are as good as hearing someone’s voice, which relates to your point about how you think that one of technology’s downsides is not having as many opportunities to form true personal connections.

Everything in my generation was done by telephone or traditional snail mail. Signing up for anything was usually a paper form that had to be mailed. College applications were typed out on a typewriter and taken to the post office and mailed. Because it took a lot of work to apply to college, the whole college process was a lot more thoughtful. You didn’t have that many chances because you couldn’t apply to many schools, so you had to be better at assessing what options were the best for you.

Overall, the lack of advanced technology in my generation trained us to be more thoughtful and better at long-term planning. I still use a pen and calendar to schedule things!

PQ: Wow, I can’t even get through my school day without a phone or laptop!

CC: But even with its downsides, technology can be really helpful. I studied abroad in England one time. I was traveling alone without a phone, so I had no way to call home. My parents were really worried. If I had a phone at that time, it would have made things so much more convenient. Technology can be really beneficial if it’s used in the right way.

PQ: Totally agree with that! Technological development is inevitable, so we have to learn how to live with it. That means knowing how to use it well and how to not let it negatively affect our lives. For example, when we have dinner together as a family, no one brings phones to the table. Setting these kinds of boundaries is a really helpful way to limit the negative effects of technology.

CC: Exactly! My generation’s main challenge with technology is learning how to use it, while your generation’s main challenge is learning how to not be too dependent on it.

PQ: That’s true. It’s really important to find a balance in how we use technology—we can’t be completely clueless about it, but we can’t be addicted to it either. Finding balance is really important for lots of things in life.

CC: Balance is key to a lot of things. Well, I had lots of fun talking with you. I’m so glad that we could find some middle ground between us, even though we are in different generations. We’re definitely more similar than we think.

(This conversation has been edited for clarity.)