Generation Talk #4: LW and CW

Generation Talk #4: LW (Age 83) and CW (Age 47)

On February 23rd, 2025, I sat at a kitchen table with Ms. Lore Waechter and her daughter, Ms. Caryn Waechter. We talked about growing up and how they both found the right path for their lives. We explored parental expectations and how those may have shaped their reality. In addition, we discussed how to adapt and maintain balance amidst a changing society with technological advances that impact every aspect of our lives.   

Portrait of LW (on the left) and CW (on the right)

Tell us about your background.

LW: My name is Lore Waechter, and I’m Caryn’s mom. I was born in Lucerne, Switzerland during World War II. Switzerland remained neutral during the war, so I was not really affected by the devastation of war. I remember there was food rationing, but we always had plenty to eat since lived at the edge of the city, on land where we had many fruit trees and grew potatoes, vegetables, and berries. My dad also raised rabbits and chickens, and we had a goat and a dog. Plus, we had relatives who were farmers. My grandfather lived with us at that time, and I had a very happy childhood. I have one younger brother. I had one older brother who passed away a few years ago. I had my education in Switzerland, lived for some time in England and in Spain, and eventually came to the United States in 1964.

CW: My name is Caryn Waechter. I was born in Oakland, California, and we lived there until I was five. Then my family moved to Austria, and after a couple of years, we relocated to Germany. In the third grade, we moved back here to California. Because of my father’s job, we had the opportunity to live in places like Brazil and Hong Kong, but I wanted to stay in the U.S. My cousins were here, and I had asthma, so being near the beach felt important for my health. So, we ended up here, near my uncle who lived on Spyglass Hill. Later, I went to Boston College on the East Coast, where I studied English. After that, I earned my MFA in Film at Columbia University. In 2017, I moved back to Los Angeles to pursue my career in the film industry — and I've been here ever since.

What were some of the expectations that your parents had for you? What effects did these expectations have? Were they positive or negative?

LW: My parents expected me to be honest and always try my best. I was also expected to go to church every Sunday. I had to help around the house because we had a large garden. I learned how to take care of a garden and enjoyed it. I think these expectations had a positive effect on me. By helping out around the house, I learned many practical skills. But as for what I wanted to do with my life, my parents gave me lots of freedom. They thought I could decide for myself.

CW: My parents always wanted me to work hard and do well. They had high expectations and consistently encouraged me to do my best. They emphasized integrity and the importance of being a good person and hard worker. I took school seriously, worked hard, stayed focused, and was usually at the top of my class. I was more introverted, so I naturally gravitated toward my studies and spent a lot of time reading.

At the same time, my parents gave me a lot of freedom when it came to choosing my own path. They supported me in chasing my dreams. Ultimately, they just wanted me to succeed at whatever I chose to do — and to be happy doing it.

What were some of the expectations and dreams you had for yourself? What did you end up choosing to do in your life? Did this come into conflict with the expectations that your parents had for you?

LW: My secret dream was to be a doctor. Medicine was fascinating to me. I probably could have done it, but I never gave it a chance, because I also wanted to be a mother. Back then, being both seemed impossible, and being a wife and mother was my priority. In those days, most girls wanted to get married and have a family. My goal was to get married by the age of 25.

Since I did not choose the path of being a doctor, I knew I was interested in geography and languages, so I thought about working in tourism. I loved meeting people from other countries. Becoming an airline stewardess also appealed to me. Back then, air stewardesses were considered more sophisticated. At Swissair, you had to be 23 before you could apply, and you had to be proficient in at least three languages. So in the meantime, I attended a business school, where I learned bookkeeping, languages, and correspondence. I had to learn shorthand, a writing language you can use to write down messages quickly. Someone would dictate a letter to me, and I had to write it all down in shorthand and then type the letter on a typewriter without making any mistakes. There were no computers, no spellcheck, and no backspace key. You had to be perfect or do it all over. Besides German, I already had French and English from school. I went to England for a year to improve my English. I also wanted to learn Spanish, so I went to a school in Barcelona and worked in the reception of a hotel along the Costa Brava.

When I came back from Spain, I saw an ad in the local paper. An American International company was looking for a bilingual secretary. Instead of trying to become an airline stewardess, I applied to the ad and got the job instead. The company was called Willys Jeep, which later became Kaiser Jeep. After about a year, my boss was transferred to Oakland, California, and he offered to sponsor me to go to California so I could work for him. It was a great opportunity to see the world, and I came to America by myself in 1964 with a one-way ticket. I had never flown before and had plans to stay for 2 years. I started to work at Kaiser Center in Oakland. In that same office building, I met my future husband on a bind date in the cafeteria. He had come to California a few months earlier. It was love at first sight.

We got married, and a few years later, our son was born. Our family also lived in Austria and Germany for several years due to my husband’s job assignments. Later on, when our daughter, Caryn, was in high school, I became a travel agent. It all worked out really well. My husband and I have travelled all over the world. Our favorite place is Tahiti. We like the people, the music, and the water. We went for the first time in 1968 and have returned many times since. And that is all I really wanted to do in my life. I think my parents were pleased with my choices; they just wanted to see me happy. I have always just gone with my instincts and my inner voice. I think I chose the right path for myself.

CW: I’ve always wanted to do something I truly loved and felt I was good at. Growing up, I had the grades to be a doctor — I only missed one question on my math SAT. But I knew early on that I was too much of an empath for that path, plus I was terrified of blood. My brother actually went into medicine. I think it’s kind of beautiful that my brother and I are so different — it gave me a clearer sense of who I was.

The English SAT portion was harder for me, but ironically, that’s the direction I ended up leaning toward. I’ve always loved storytelling and self-expression. I’ve always been an artist. My uncle was an artist too, so I really connected with him. I majored in English in college, but it wasn’t until my senior year that I realized I wanted to go into film — initially as a film critic. I saw film as a perfect medium because it brings together so many different art forms. I also loved the collaborative aspect of filmmaking — building something with a team.

When I went to film school, I found myself being pushed to create, and that’s when I started leaning into filmmaking and photography. It completely filled my heart. I’ve always worked during off-hours — I’m a night person — and there’s no clear boundary between my work and my personal life. I really love my work. It’s not always easy — making movies is hard, and getting them funded is even harder — but when it all comes together, it’s incredibly satisfying. The shooting part is really intense. You barely sleep. It feels like going into battle. There are so many hurdles, but this is the work I love, and I’m lucky that my parents have always supported me.

So far, I have directed two feature films. My first was The Sisterhood of Night, a modern version of the Salem witch trials set in today’s digital age. I made it with a writer friend from film school. It took 10 years to make, and back then, women’s stories didn’t really seem as “marketable” as they are now, so we had to go through a lot of hurdles. I had to prove myself to people, and it was challenging. But I’m proud of that film. I wanted to make a movie that I didn’t have growing up — a movie for young girls about the strength and complexity of female friendships. So many films from my childhood centered on girls finding meaning through boys. I wanted to create a movie that gave young women a sense of power and independence. We shot it in upstate New York in thirty days with a cast of incredibly talented young women. It was such a special experience.

My second film, Deadcon, is a young adult horror movie about a group of influencers attending a YouTuber convention — only to discover they’re all staying in a haunted hotel. I’ve always been fascinated by how technology is shaping human behavior, and I try to weave that theme into my work.

Each film I make teaches me something new and makes me a stronger filmmaker and person. I’m currently working on my third movie — a camping horror movie. It’ll be fun...especially since I love camping!

CW, you mentioned your interest in tech as a guiding idea in your work. What do you think about the evolution of technology and its effects on people?

CW: Technology has evolved rapidly over the years, especially in the film industry. The rise of streaming platforms like Netflix have completely transformed the way films are distributed and consumed. Movies used to come out on DVDs and in the theaters. But now, they go directly to streaming, which has significantly shifted the business model and metrics of success in the industry.

In film school, the tech that we had to deal with changed so drastically. I had to constantly adapt to new cameras, editing software, and the growing influence of social media. Social media is essential for my business because it’s a way to share my work. I primarily use Instagram and try to stay up-to-date with evolving platforms and trends, though it can definitely feel overwhelming at times.

LW: I think that with the rise of technology, everything has gotten so much more complex. Technology has given us so many opportunities. My children had many more opportunities than I did. I had a much simpler life.

CW: Yes, technology has changed rapidly across generations, but I believe my generation experienced some of the most dramatic shifts. We grew up right in the middle of it all — witnessing the transition from analog to digital in real time, and the pace of change hasn’t slowed since. When I was in high school, we didn’t have much technology. My parents got me a cell phone when I was a teenager, but it was really clunky, and I hated it because nobody else had one. My parents wanted me to bring it everywhere, but I would leave it behind a lot. It was for safety, not like how phones are used today. My parents just wanted to be able to reach me if I was stranded somewhere.

Over the years, I’ve watched technology evolve dramatically. My generation grew up with cassettes, VHS tapes, DVDs, and vinyl, and then adapted to things like Facebook, email, and personal computers. So while I definitely appreciate technology, I still feel more connected to analog ways of doing things than younger generations.

I feel like technology has changed our methods of communication, too. For example, when I talk to my niece, I always expect her to call, but she’s more of a texter. In my generation — and certainly in my parents’— we pick up the phone and call. I’m also one of the few people I know who still writes letters. They feel special nowadays because they’re so rare. That kind of communication was a big part of my parents’ generation, too. Mom, you used to write letters to your parents all the time.

LW: Yes, phone calls to Switzerland were very expensive. We used a timer, no more than three minutes. So I wrote letters to my mother a lot. Even my husband wrote to my mother to ask for her blessings in our marriage. Everything was done in writing.

CW: I also remember growing up and having short calls with my grandparents, who lived in Europe. Those calls were rare and brief, usually because of the cost and time difference. Instead of calling, we would send updates on a cassette tape. My grandma would record a message and mail it to us, and we’d record our reply and send it back. Communication back then was slower and more deliberate. Now, it’s so much more immediate. The contrast is incredible.

LW: There’s Facetime now.

CW: Yes, we Facetime my mom’s brother in Switzerland every week now. So it’s amazing how far we’ve come with technology.

Do you think there are any negative effects of technology?

CW: Well, when I was in high school, I had to memorize people’s phone numbers. Now I don’t know a single one — not even yours, Mom! Do you know mine?

LW: No.

CW: Exactly. I feel like my memory has gotten worse as technology has become more advanced, and that’s why I’m trying to read more. There’s just so much information coming at us all the time that it feels impossible to retain anything.

There are constantly new tools to learn, and I’m always trying to keep up. Sometimes, I resist new technology — like AI. Honestly, I don’t want to touch it! But I feel like I have to embrace it at some point. But I also know this happens with every new technology, like the advent of email and the Internet; there’s always some resistance in the beginning. It really comes down to finding a balance. And part of that balance, for me, is stepping away from tech altogether. As I get older, I find myself craving nature more. Sometimes, I can feel myself getting overwhelmed, so it’s important to unplug and get outside.

LW: You know, my husband relies on Siri. He’s always like, “Siri, get me home!” And I tell him that he should know his way home. Or maybe he just wants to test her. He relies too much on Siri. I try to rely more on my brain to find my way.

CW: She really likes maps.

LW: Yes, I’m a map reader. I use GPS if it’s somewhere complicated, but I try not to rely on Siri to tell me where to go. I still like using my brain to find my way. You can’t rely on technology too much. Especially as I get older, I think it’s important for me to keep working my brain. I love the communication aspect though; I love to see people on the phone.

Everything is email now, with my friends in Europe and my friends from high school. It’s wonderful to have that connection that wouldn’t exist without email. There’s a person who lives in France and grew up in Switzerland like I did. She had an interesting life and she’s a good writer; she could be a journalist. She writes so well in German even though she lives in France. My husband loves to write to her too, because she’s so interesting. He likes to correspond with other people around the world. And that would not be possible without technology. Handwritten notes are really nice and mean a lot to me.

CW: My parents communicate a lot with friends in Europe, so that’s definitely a real benefit to technology.

LW: Yes, friends in England, Spain, Germany, and Australia. It’s great to stay in touch by email. Or Facetime sometimes, too. Texting is also convenient.

CW: At the end of the day, it’s all about finding that balance. There’s always going to be both good and bad. The Internet is full of harmful content, but it also offers so much good — connection, creativity, opportunity. I explored that idea in my first film, The Sisterhood of Night: how the Internet can bring people together, but also how anonymity online can sometimes bring out the worst in people. It’s a double-edged sword.

LW: Yes, everything is about finding balance. It’s like eating, too. Not too much sugar, not too much fat.

What were the expectations for women in your generation? How was it different from the expectations for women today?

LW: Well, the expectations for me and other girls my age were pretty much to get married and have a family. Most of my friends got married. Some didn’t, but they were unhappy single women. Having a family was the way to go back then.

But today, women are not expected to be married at a certain age. Some want to get married later and have children later in life. And if they don’t want to get married, they can have a career, and that’s fine. It’s really different now. You can be single and have a life, too.

CW: In my generation, most of the women around me focused on doing well in school and pursuing careers they were passionate about. Some of my friends always knew they wanted to start families, and I thought I’d be married with kids by now. My main goal was to build a career I loved, and that was my first priority.

Women today are more empowered to choose between career and family — or to find ways to do both — but often that means marriage and children are delayed. Of course, the biological clock still exists. Even though I don’t have kids, I feel like I have a lot of kids through my community. I’m the cool aunt in so many of my friends’ lives! I also kind of feel like my movies are my children. It takes many years to build up, and they live on and have a message.

CW, what’s it like being a female in the film industry?

CW: Over the years, I’ve seen the landscape shift. There are far more opportunities for women in film more now than when I started, and that’s something to celebrate. I’m really inspired by the bold, innovative work coming from female directors today. It’s exciting to see more women stepping into this space, telling powerful stories, and getting the recognition they deserve. I’m proud to be part of that evolution.

Thank you to Ms. Lore and Ms. Caryn for such an engaging conversation! I truly appreciate the candor and insight from these two incredible women.

(This conversation has been edited for clarity.)